The Faceless Henchwoman

So, it's been awhile....

2006-08-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

Six months and a day, to be exact. Well, for you.

For me? About a week.

Time travel sucks.

Bleh.

2005-12-02T14:28:00.000-08:00

Been sick the last month or so. Our Lady was testing the lethality of certain drugs, and I was one of the 'lucky' ones that didn't get the placebo. Mostly recovered now, other than the occasional mild hallucinations.

Those made monitor duty last night very interesting, let me tell you.

Anyway, news later. Just wanted to let my few fans know that I'm still alive.

Ten Days Is Long Enough

2005-10-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hey there! If you've just come across this blog because of a comment you saw on another blog, welcome. If you're one of my legions of fans from when I started this... yes, I am a slacker, thanks.

Spent much of the last couple weeks testing City of Villains. Probably not going to actually buy the game; Our Lady kidnapped half the staff back in March, and we have our own version on the internal servers that's both faster and crashes less. Yeah, apparently She's a fan; who knew?

Yeah, that's why Statesman's been so weird lately. Don't know why they're covering it up, but hey.

Otherwise, it's been pretty quiet. Still doing a lot of therapy with the new hands, which turns into full-body therapy, which means a lot of time spent in hand-to-hand training, which means getting my butt kicked on a daily basis.

What's sad is I'm not even supposed to be a combatant. Well, that's why I keep having my head handed to me, I suppose...

Man I'm glad we're in an undisclosed location off the Pacific coast; the Atlantic's just sucked this year, hasn't it? My hopes and such are with Florida. Of course, they're used to this kind of thing, so they're actually prepared.

It's been awhile. So?

2005-10-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Well, She decided that I was injured badly enough that my hands would never be the same, so she replaced them. That's why I've been so quiet lately; I could manage one-finger typing by locking my new hands and point-clicking carefully, but actual typing would have to wait until my nervous system got used to controlling them.

They are wicked cool hands. My grip is amazing; I can do that crushing-guns-with-bare-hands thing now. My lifting strength hasn't changed, nor has my punching strength, but I've got electrostatic discharge units in my fingertips, so I can stun most mules, let alone humans.

On the downside, I have to wear gloves in the shower.

---

So the Costco raid, in and of itself, went pretty much like clockwork. We got the gang there fine, we terrorized the nats, we picked up everything we needed, I finally managed to pick up the new Harry Potter. Also made a side trip to get the City of Villains pre-order.

It was after we got the platform into the air that we encountered resistance. Apparently one of the nats got on her cell and did the nine-one-one thing, and some meta heard it and got her group together, because we encountered some chick with birdwings and some electro-dude. The chick was no problem, but the electro-dude managed to hit some vital systems and the platform went all wobbly, and the force field that acts as walls for the platform flickered just as I stumbled into the wall... So I went through it and plunged a few stories into the ocean.

So that's how I broke my hands, along with one leg and a cracked rib. But I survived, and they apparently didn't see me take the plunge, so I lucked out and missed getting arrested.

Yeah, real lucky. Dog-paddling in shark-infested waters for several hours with a broken leg and two broken hands is not an experience I recommend or want to repeat. But it was enough to get me to one of our safehouses and hit a distress beacon before passing out.

The rest is gravy; I've been recuperating and watching a lot of bad television whenever I haven't been in therapy. Our Lady had another group spring my group while I've been convalescing, so no problems there.

Tomorrow I go back on monitor duty, which is good, because I just recieved word that I'm in the CoV beta! Woo hoo!

cant type

2005-08-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

8 broke fingers. both wrists.

more later.

thank Her for healing rays.

Another busy day.

2005-08-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

So, yes, spent most of the time playing City of Heroes again. A fire tanker, for those who indulge. Nothing says "arresting criminals" like burning their health bars to nothing.

Tomorrow will be different, though. Shopping trip! Time to hit Costco and take what's rightfully ours!

Not very surprising...

2005-08-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

We get lots and lots of letters

2005-08-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Anonymous Email said:
Faceless, how big is the island? How many people do you have there?And just who is this lady you keep talking about?

Thank you for your interest, Anonymous. Unfortunately, I can't really give you too much information, in case some superhero stumbles across the blog. I can just say that The Island is more than big enough for our facilities, so we have plenty of room to expand.

I can't directly name Our Lady, either, I fear. She isn't ready for public exposure. When she is, I'll happily provide what details I can. At this time, all I can really say is that she's the most intelligent being in this solar system, and one of the most beautiful.

Edit: Sorry, in this galaxy. I missed a memo.

Uniforms

2005-08-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

Busy day today. And by busy day, I mean I played City of Heroes for about eight hours while on monitor duty.

What? I was watching that monitor very intently.

Anyway, uniforms. Or costumes, as the case may be. That's effectively what they are, after all. Supervillain costumes.

Minions, who can barely be trusted to get dressed properly anyway, wear the most basic uniform; a black jumpsuit made of microarmor weave that Our Lady hasn't yet named. It looks and weighs about like leather, but stops bullets better than Kevlar backed by ceramics. The utility belt varies according to the minion's lot in life. Hat, goggles and boots complete the look.

Henchwomen... well, here. If I did it right, there's a picture next to this. It's the same armor weave, but more of a minidress than a jumpsuit. Which means our legs are pretty well exposed, which I think is a design flaw, since it tells our enemies who to shoot and designates a vulnerable target other than the head.

But what do I know, right?

Captains wear whatever costume they wore before they joined Our Lady, unless they upgrade their costume from Her arsenal. Many of them have, wanting that armor weave.

And She wears whatever she wants.

Letters, oh we get letters

2005-08-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

Chris Meadows said...
What, then, is the difference between a "henchperson" and a "minion"? I had always assumed that the "henchperson" was like a lieutenant, and the minions were all the faceless little people. The etymology seems to favor this interpretation...

(Did you notice that "minion" and "mignon" come from the same root word? When seeking minion work, you should always be careful that your boss is clear on the difference. Don't wanna find "filet minion" on the menu, after all.)

Chris, that's essentially correct. Our organizational chart is as follows:

Minions are the bottom tier. They have essentially no thought in their brain other than obeying Our Lady. They can perform simple, menial tasks like guarding, cleaning, killing and typing.
Henchwomen are the next step up. They are completely loyal to Her, but still have most of their minds intact. They do any jobs that require initiative and thought.
Next up are the Metas. She hasn't done anything to their minds, but, generally speaking, has bought their loyalty with threats and money.
And then there is The Lady Herself.

As for the minion/mignon thing... Suffice it to say that the occasional minion has been filet, but, as far as I know, has never been on the menu.

Anonymous said...

Does Your Lady specifically have female henchwomen, or is it a co-ed environment? I'm with Doctor Syncratic, and on the minion level it's strictly stag. There are some pretty hot chicks as part of operations, but I think that's because Doc S. likes the whole "black mini tank dress and white lab coat" look so much. For us, he wants black kevlar, hats and sunglasses, and that's about it.

Minions and Metas are fairly evenly split along gender lines. Henchwomen are exclusively female. There's some speculation that the male mind is completely incapable of resisting Her, while females have some ability to resist, but this is unproven (and not something we really want to ask Her).

It's getting late, so I'll go into the costuming thing another time.

Why Faceless?

2005-08-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Our Lady believes that the peons (read: people without superpowers) are completely interchangeable, and should look the part. One of the many innovations She's come up with is a thin latex mask that takes on the pigmentation of any skin below it, porous enough to breathe through, that's completely transparent on the inside. Pull these masks over our heads, and voila. Faceless. Pretty much all the minions here on The Island wear one whenever we aren't eating. It's a real timesaver--no makeup time in the morning!

She is going to kill me.

2005-08-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

But then, what else is new?